You’re invited to a death dinner—an intimate facilitated gathering where we gently explore our relationships to death and dying in order to live more deeply into life.
When I was 18, my dad died suddenly, three weeks before I—on autopilot—moved across the country to start university. Once there, I suddenly found myself “learning” grief, geographically isolated from home and the community that I had known when he was alive. This experience made me who I am today—someone with a capacity for, and an interest in, leaping into the unknown—and it also made me particularly attuned to how taboo it is to speak about death, loss, and grief in many of our cultures. For years I found it hard to even tell people that my dad had died. It became like a dirty secret, one that I felt I had to tiptoe around to preserve the comfort of the people around me, all the while knowing that I wasn’t just hiding something that had happened to me - I was hiding an entire part of my identity and being.
On the ten-year anniversary of my dad’s death, I signed up to train to become a death doula, someone who holistically and non-medically supports individuals at the end of life. I was immediately struck with the parallels between deathwork and documentary work; all of it is storytelling. I believe in the power of providing space for people to tell their own stories, and I believe that people in fact crave to tell their story—and not just the polished parts but the messy bits, the darknesses and mysteries that we muck through as part of the human experience.
So, in 2022, towards the end of my doula training, I started hosting death dinners. I have found these dinners to be spaces of deep listening and trust - and also, contrary to what one might assume, lightness and joy. I have learned intimately that it is through community that we heal. These dinners have healed me.
If you are based in London, I would love to host you at a dinner. You do not have to have experienced an intimate death - these dinners are for anyone who will die one day. They are run on voluntary donation. Please reach out if you’re interested in attending or have questions.
Rachel creates such a beautiful, simple and natural space to talk about things that aren’t always easy to get into. I came away from our dinner feeling like I had a much deeper connection with and understanding of death.
Christine
Rachel’s death dinner event was profoundly impactful, wherein she provides guidance and thoughtful prompts for reflection on a topic relevant to everyone. The experience reminded us that by contemplating death, we gain a deeper appreciation for life, making it a valuable experience for all who participate. I recommend it to anyone.
Chris
I hadn’t thought deeply about death, and Rachel’s death dinner gave me a chance to explore what end-of-life means to me. I’ve continued to come back to the conversations we had as I engage with my parents entering old age and contemplate what the death of loved ones will mean in my life.
Sam